25.2.08

airplane 7

She planned her timing carefully. Her senses were alert, her eyes darted around the plane. There were four flight attendants. One went up to see the pilot after the galley was secured, his portable oxygen tank clanking on the seats behind him. Two of the others were trying to calm down the passengers, unsuccessfully. The last attendant was sitting in the back row by herself.. She looked very pale and was taking slow breaths into her portable tank. Her eyes wide with fear, she looked almost transparent. She sa paralyzed watching the chaos unravel in front of her. Phoenix took one last breath and ran back to the row with the attendant. “I need your mask,” Phoenix said gasping for air. The woman looked at her blankly and then looked straight ahead again. Phoenix was almost out of air. All of the sudden, the plane took a sudden jolt, then woman's head slammed hard against the seat in front of her. Phoenix was blown against the wall that forced her to let out her last breath. The woman's mask lay on the floor in front of her now. She grabbed it and put it on. Once she regained breath, she got up and examined the attendant. She had a bleeding welt on the side of her head, but it didn’t look too bad. She got a ceiling mask down for her. She jogged to the galley, grabbed an ice pack and a water bottle, then went back and put it on the side of the woman's head. She then, dragging the heavy oxygen tank behind her, made her way staggering, back to her seat.

7 comments:

tommy said...

nice! you had very vivid descriptions of your airplane, and how Phoieix had to struggle to get an airmask.

gracefulswan4@hotmail.com said...

I liked this because you had stong descriptions of the plane dilemma! It made me want to read more! Keep writing more for this story! Good Job! Gracie

Lacy said...

wow, that was really good. I liked it because of all of the details. The descriptions of what was happening were really vivid. The scene was very intense. It had me on the edge of my seat:)

Hannah said...

Wow you are a really good writer. I really like the story and I hope you continue to write about it. I like this story because you have an excellent word choice, and that makes the story more interesting to read. I like how you described how difficult it was for Phoenix to get the air mask. I really like how you leave the end of each chapter hanging. You make people interested and want to read more. Anyway, keep on writing!
Hannah

Hannah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
daniel said...

Wow. I haven't read any of the other airplane parts but I really liked that and it makes me want to read the other ones. I liked it because there was tons of description and you used really good word choice. You should write more of these, they're really good.

daniel said...

man i really love these stories you write. theyre really good. how many more are you planning on doing? you should do alot more.